Please do not overfill the kettle – only heat the water required to make your tea.

In order to combat climate change you must not waste electricity to heat the water

Alternative means of generating heat to boil your water include:

Candle power – candles must be fair trade and non toxic, no bees must be harmed in the harvesting or manufacture.

Solar power – put the kettle on the window ledge and wait. This may take a while, especially in winter or at night.

Kinetic energy – shake it up a hellovalot until the water warms up

Natural geysers – you have two options here, the first is to use hot water direct from the geyser (it might taste a bit funny though), the second to carefully hold your kettle over the heat long enough to bring the water to boil.

Fire – must be wood burning only, sourced from FSC woodland and supplied through the FSC chain of supply. Zero airmiles. Try and harness the by product of fire, smoke, for other tasks, such as smoking a kipper. Hold on, no, deep sea fishing is driving our fish to extinction. No fish allowed. Smoke some vegan cheese instead.




Testing indicates that despite the potential of wind to generate power, even if you put your kettle out in gale force winds the water will not heat up.




If you ever manage to boil the kettle enjoy your cuppa, you deserve it.